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Sorry

October 12, 2009 Leave a comment

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I have been very busy at work. (Stupid real job.) However, I do hope to find some time in the near future to update the site on a regular basis (again). Until then, feel free to contact me directly (fantasy.funk@gmail.com) with any questions.

3 Losers & a Douchebag

September 28, 2009 Leave a comment

Loser #1: I think we can officially say that WR Terrell Owens is no longer an elite fantasy WR. He had zero catches in week 3, and only has 5 catches for 98 yards and a TD on the season. Which is what he used to have in a game. For falling from fantasy stardom, Mr. Owens, you are a loser.

Loser #2: When you repeatedly post super-human numbers, people expect super-human numbers. Which is why QB Drew Brees is a loser this week. He failed to throw for more than 200 yards and failed to throw a TD pass. Which is par for the course for half of the starting QBs in the NFL. But for Brees? It is unacceptable. Mr. Brees, you are a loser.

Loser #3: No one expected monster numbers from RB Frank Gore this week against MIN, but people expected more than 1 carry. For tricking us into thinking you were healthy enough to play and then bowing out after only 1 carry, Mr. Gore, you are a loser.

Douchebag: The douchebag this week is someone most of you have probably never heard of. His name is FB John Kuhn of GB. Why is he the douchebag this week? Well, because he scored on a 1-yard TD run and a 10-yard TD reception, both of which most likley would have otherwise been TDs for RB Ryan Grant. So, for stealing TDs from a guy who should have had a huge fantasy day, Mr. Kuhn, you are a douchebag.

Douchebag Honorable Mention: Umm… Can someone tell me who FB Daniel Fells is? He came out of nowhere to have 2 TD catches against GB. Which means that both FBs in the GB-STL game were douchebags this weekend.

3 Losers & a Douchebag

September 21, 2009 Leave a comment

Loser # 1: Everyone expected NE to go right back to their glory of 2007 when QB Tom Brady returned. And week 1 was a nice start. But in week 2, WR Randy Moss only posted 24 yards. And for that, he is a loser.

Loser # 2: Last week, TE Zach Miller showed everyone why he was considered a sleeper at TE when he caught 6 passes for 96 yards. Then he followed that up by completely disappearing. That should teach us a lesson: Never trust the fat caveman (aka QB Jamarcus Russell). And for teaching us that lesson, he is a loser.

Loser #3: Umm… WTF WR Greg Jennings? Zero catches against CIN? How is that even possible? You know what? I don’t even wanna know. Because either way, you are a loser.

Douchebag: My douchebag this week is personal. QB Matt Schaub (HOU) is my douchebag this week because I recommended that you sit him because he was facing the TEN defense and he struggled in week 1. But instead of struggling, he blew up and threw for 347 yards and 4 TDs, making him the highest scoring QB. What a douchebag.

I think…

September 21, 2009 Leave a comment

1. I think … I’m glad I had RB Chris Johnson on my team in one league. But I am not so glad I had to play against him in another.

2. I think … RB Cedric Benson is shaping up to be a very nice RB2. He is tied with RB Michael Turner for the most carries in the league through 2 weeks.

3. I think … the GB offense has disappointed thus far. The OL is the problem. And it could have a major affect on QB Aaron Rodgers, RB Ryan Grant, and WR Greg Jennings if it does not improve.

4. I think … NYJ CB Darrelle Revis is very good. He held WR Andre Johnson to 4 catches for 35 yards in week 1 and WR Randy Moss to 4 catches for 24 yards in week 2. I might consider benching your WRs against him.

5. I think … RB Darren Sproles is not a great RB. But, damn, he is great when he gets the ball in space. He is worth starting every week, especially while RB LaDainian Tomlinson is hurt.

6. I think … RB Felix Jones could benefit greatly if RB Marion Barber misses any time due to his quad injury. But watch for RB Tashard Choice to get some touches, too.

7. I think … As (I) expected, WR Devin Hester is not a real WR. However, its a little surprising to see rookie WR Jonny Knox has become the leading WR in Chicago.

8. I think … I love the NFL. QB Jay Cutler throws 4 INTs and CHI loses go GB in week 1. Then CHI beats PIT in week 2, and GB loses to CIN. So tough early on to tell who is for real.

9. I think … QB Matt Ryan is the real deal. And TE Tony Gonzalez is his new best friend.

10. I think … I was wrong about WR Dominic Hixon. It looks like WR Mario Manningham and WR Steve Smith are going to lead the way. One or both might even be available in your league.

Matt Schaub

September 20, 2009 Leave a comment

Yeah. Sorry about that one. Jesus.

Categories: Random Thoughts

This is what I think…

September 16, 2009 Leave a comment

1. I think RB Leon Washington is underrated. He had 19 touches in week 1 after averaging 7.7 last year. I think NYJ wants to get him involved more. Which is a good thing.

2. I think I hate DAL. When I was in the old stadium, I quickly made my way to the 50-yard line and spat on the star. That is how much I hate DAL. But I will admit, seeing QB Tony Romo pass for a career high in yards in his first game after WR Terrell Owens left made me smile.

3. I think the OAK defense looks a lot better with Greg Ellis and Richard Seymour on the DL. Now if they could just find a QB who was not grossly overweight and had a forehead that did not resemble that of a caveman.

4. I think RB Adrian Peterson is a beast. Watching him literally throw defenders off him was comical. But you almost feel bad for CLE. Remember, it was CLE who got abused in a similar fashion by RB Jamal Lewis a few years ago.

5. I think RB Ray Rice looked very good as the featured RB in BAL. But, as expected, RB Willis McGahee and RB LeRon McClain stole his TDs. Why didn’t he try a little harder to score on his run down inside the 5 yard line? He must hate his fantasy owners.

6. I think I feel bad for anyone who drafted CAR WR Steve Smith this year. QB Jake Delhomme looks absolutely terrible. I might even take the fat caveman over him.

7. I think the RBBC in OAK with RB Michael Bush and RB Darren McFadden may render both of them useless due to unpredictability. Although Bush has an edge as the goal line back.

8. I think you can count me among the people who did not think QB Drew Brees was worth a 1st round pick. Right now, anyone who took him that high is pretty happy with themselves. But he can’t throw for 6 TDs every game, can he? No, really … Can he?

9. I think I am still not convinced that RB Darren Sproles can be an every-down RB. He looks good when he gets the ball in space, but he has a hard time running inside. Which limits his value. But with RB LaDainian Tomlinson suffering an ankle injury, and SD cutting RB Gartrell Johnson, we may see a lot more of Sproles.

10. I think there is no better player in the NFL who is stuck on a worse team than RB Steven Jackson? (Maybe WR Calvin Johnson?) You have to feel bad for S-Jax. Let him run behind the MIN OL and we would be talking about the possibility of 2,000 yards rushing, just like we are with AP.

Three Losers & a Douchebag

September 14, 2009 1 comment

Each Monday, I will write a post entitled “Three Losers & a Douchebag”, where I will identify “Three Losers” — guys who were likely in your starting lineup and should have played well but failed miserably — and “a Douchebag” — a guy who should not have played well but did (and was likely either on your bench or on your opponent’s starting roster, adding to the pain and annoyance). It has very little (read: absolutely zero) relevance to what may or may not happen next week. Mostly it is just my way of venting.

Three Losers

1. QB Matt Schaub (HOU): I know NYJ has a solid defense. But all you could muster is 166 yards passing, 0 TDs and 1 INT? Painful. Even QB Marc Bulger outscored you in standard leagues. Which is even more painful.

2.WR Andre Johnson (HOU): I suppose it is not surprising to see Johnson on this list considering the day Schaub had. But people obviously expected more from Johnson, who was consistently drafted as a top-3 WR. Unfortunately, he started the season with a 4-catch, 35 yard performance. Which means you would have been better off with WR Kelley Washington (BAL) or WR Bryant Johnson (DET) in your lineup. Ouch.

3. WR Steve Smith (CAR): Smith had 3 catches for 21 yards. Most — okay, all — of this can be blamed on QB Jake Delhomme, who looked awful. Smith did garner 13 looks. But 3 catches and 21 yards is not what people expected out of Smith when they took him as high as they did. Hopefully Delhomme gets his act together, or it is going to be a long season (mostly involving blocking) for Smith.

And a Douchebag

WR Brandon Stokley (DEN): Seriously — WTF? You had zero catches until the pass intended for WR Brandon Marshall was tipped and miraculously landed in your hands. Then you took the ball and ran for a TD, giving you 1 catch for 87 yards and a TD on the day. Which is worth 14.7 points. You went from zero to 14.7 points in a matter of seconds. And the play won DEN the game. There are more than a few games out there who’s outcome was determined by this unbelievable turn of events.